1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax
2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.
3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.
4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in
Gelff.
5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen
8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday?
An Oto
11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask
12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.
13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.
14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi
15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "
17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Sardar Jokes
They have no relation to anyone living or dead.
Two sardarjis were sitting together and the first sardar says something into the second one's ears, hearing that the second sardar suddenly dies......
What did the first sardar tell the second sardar hearing which he dies?
The first sardar whispered, "DHISHKAAAON" into the second sardar's ear.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and our desi Sardarji.
They boast their country's science achievements.
The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space, the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon, The Sardarji thinks hard and says dont you worry very soon we will be first ones on the sun!
Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Sardarji, you stupid the sun is too hot, your spaceship will burn before it reaches the sun.
Our Sardarji scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid. We will go there at night
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
DharamRaj lets him in without another word.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves, The announcement was misleading the train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady came and asked
him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No
Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was
totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw
another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am
relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, Sab
tere Ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "
(Translation ... Idiot everyone is looking for you and you are
relaxing here!!!!!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor
building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa
Singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While
coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't
have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he
remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he
remembered he was not Santa Singh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I
borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read.
There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many
characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
took our phone book.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up
and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two sardarjis were sitting together and the first sardar says something into the second one's ears, hearing that the second sardar suddenly dies......
What did the first sardar tell the second sardar hearing which he dies?
The first sardar whispered, "DHISHKAAAON" into the second sardar's ear.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and our desi Sardarji.
They boast their country's science achievements.
The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space, the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon, The Sardarji thinks hard and says dont you worry very soon we will be first ones on the sun!
Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Sardarji, you stupid the sun is too hot, your spaceship will burn before it reaches the sun.
Our Sardarji scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid. We will go there at night
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate DharamRaj told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
DharamRaj said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
DharamRaj lets him in without another word.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves, The announcement was misleading the train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady came and asked
him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No
Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was
totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw
another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am
relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, Sab
tere Ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "
(Translation ... Idiot everyone is looking for you and you are
relaxing here!!!!!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor
building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa
Singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While
coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't
have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he
remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he
remembered he was not Santa Singh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I
borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read.
There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many
characters!" The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
took our phone book.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up
and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Dont Miss to Read on
To all OWLS
(Older Wiser Laughing Souls)
Wisdom from Grandpa .......
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.
On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never the present.
A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna "work"."
Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
Have a GREAT day.......and keep Laughing!
It's good for the soul.
(Older Wiser Laughing Souls)
Wisdom from Grandpa .......
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.
On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never the present.
A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna "work"."
Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
Have a GREAT day.......and keep Laughing!
It's good for the soul.
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